


In Media Res...

by Bacner



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Buffy the Vampire Slayer - fandom, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crossover, Dialogue driven, Drabble, Gen, Some Humor, This Means War - Freeform, in the middle of action
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 22:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21005180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/pseuds/Bacner
Summary: A BtVS/X-Men crossover drabble.





	In Media Res...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lila_luscious1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/gifts).

> Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to their respective owners.

“Ugh, my pounding head,” Buffy groaned, as she tried to rub the body part in question and found that it was covered with a helmet. “Just what was in the punch of that buffet?”

Feeling not only bleary, but also confused, Buffy carefully opened her eyes. A pirate was staring down at her. “Xander,” Buffy said slowly, “I know that you got your eye patch and all, but your get-up is ridiculous!”

“I look ridiculous? Buff, you’re dressed as an ancient Greek – according to Willow anyways,” Xander shot back, pointing at Willow, who was peeping at Buffy from underneath her own helmet.

“Before you add, I am dressed more like an ancient Roman than a Greek, not that it would matter to you,” Willow added, looking shyly from beneath her own helmet.

“Right,” Buffy said in a tone of voice that tended to make vampires and other enemies hurriedly retreat before they got staked in ways that it would hurt, “anyone else from the Scooby gang is here?”

“Look at me, look at me!” Andrew pranced around, revealing more naked skin than anyone in the Scooby gang ever wanted to see on him. “I’m an Indian! I mean, a Native American! I mean-“

“Anyone else besides Andrew?” Buffy felt like hitting her head on her new bronze shield. “I mean, seriously!”

“Hey, there are us!” Faith said, startling the other three, as she took-off her Viking helmet. Next to her, Kennedy adjusted her samurai katana; Dawn continued to examine her ninja get-up, while Giles just stood there stoically, dressed in the plate armour of a medieval knight.

“Yes!” Buffy said quickly, “but what’s with the get-up? Have we decided on some sort of an unofficial party and I forgot about it?”

“Probably not,” Dawn said, as she finished examining her get-up and found it satisfactory at least for a while. “We don’t do dress-up, not since Ethan did that costume spell and you went all fancy...though I really wasn’t there, was I?”

“Dawn,” Buffy growled, not really up to one of her sister’s guilt trips. “Seriously, what has happened to us?”

“I! I have happened!” the statement was accompanied by cheesy, gloating laughter, and the stage lights lit up even brighter, illuminating a yellow, corpulent spider-legged thing. “I am Mojo, ruler of the Mojoverse, and I brought you here!”

“O-okay,” Buffy spoke in her speaking-to-idiots voice, “and why are we here, exactly?”

“To find out before my adoring audience, who of you is the deadliest warrior!” Mojo said, cheerfully. “Normally, I’d use the X-Men, but since D’Hoffryn was able to drink me under the table for a change, it’s your lucky day!”

“Of course,” Xander spoke, fully aware that Dawn had sidled over to Willow and now the two were quietly talking about something in private behind Willow’s new tower-shaped shield. “D’Hoffryn. This is his idea?”

“No! This is my idea! His idea was to use you! Try to follow!” Mojo said angrily, stopping several of his spider-like robotic legs.

“Yeah? Well D’Hoffryn was never able to have us do anything that he wanted, so why do you think that you will succeed? And besides what do you want us to do, anyways?” Kennedy picked up the initiative.

“What do I want you to do?” Mojo repeated. “Fight each other to the death to decide who is the deadliest warrior, of course! And as for the first question – do you think that you have any choice?”

“There’s always a choice,” Willow said flatly, even as Dawn threw Buffy some sort of a light throwing spear, its tip now covered in some black powder. “Buffy – throw it!”

And Buffy threw. The Roman javelin went like a thunderbolt of Jupiter.

“That was stupid – doubly stupid since you missed me,” Mojo growled.

“I hit what I aimed at,” Buffy shook her head; pointing to the remote control that was currently pierced completely by the javelin and emitted sparks at a threatening rate. “Willow – what did I aim at?”

“If my calculations are correct,” Willow began, but never finished, or at least Mojo never heard her do that, for her enchantments completely destroyed the technology that he used to bring Scoobies to him at that point, and abruptly the Scoobies went back.

“Why you!” Mojo snarled, as he was handed his most quick defeat ever. “This means war!”

The end?


End file.
